Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
