he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
