Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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