The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize