i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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