Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.