I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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