Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

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  (847): Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight http://tfl.nu/3mek
  Replies (17) Good night (3250) Bad night (736)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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  (614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3
  Replies (11) Good night (4843) Bad night (745)
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  (646): View more from New York

  i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation

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  (646): i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation http://tfl.nu/0879
  Replies (14) Good night (1870) Bad night (5017)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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  (201): My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud? http://tfl.nu/2vhi
  Replies (27) Good night (7964) Bad night (1256)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.

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  (443): dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though. http://tfl.nu/36m5
  Replies (27) Good night (6855) Bad night (1241)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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  (720): At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course http://tfl.nu/67cn
  Replies (25) Good night (5249) Bad night (1185)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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  (717): i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender. http://tfl.nu/6o47
  Replies (9) Good night (1025) Bad night (4505)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (4146) Bad night (1159)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.

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  (206): You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want. http://tfl.nu/h1r5
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (1502)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.

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  (310): I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations. http://tfl.nu/td7t
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (1024)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.

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  (734): In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER. http://tfl.nu/mukx
  Replies (10) Good night (2417) Bad night (861)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

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  (425): You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/758u
  Replies (7) Good night (1821) Bad night (524)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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  (907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (547)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.

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  (602): Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy. http://tfl.nu/ej69
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (474)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.

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  (915): Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance. http://tfl.nu/naye
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (159)

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