if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.