Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!