Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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