I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
