Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
