am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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