I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
do nipples grow back?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
