Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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