we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
