so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
