I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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