So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So gin and wine won't be happening again
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
