you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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