what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
