if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
