It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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