I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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