One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
