Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
