Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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