ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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