I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize