You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
