when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
