I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
