So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
