so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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