Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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