I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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