We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize