She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
