Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he fucked my hip out of place.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me