**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
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when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.