jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life