Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old