marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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