Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
