after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
