Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
