oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
