So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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