How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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