I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
