i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
