I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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