it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
