There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize