Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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