when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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