what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
