Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
