Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
