I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
