My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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