But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
