She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
