Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
